5 WAYS To Tell If You Are a PIRATE!

Is a Pirate’s Life for YOU?

Avast, me hearties! Do you have the courage and fortitude to follow orders and stay true in the face of danger and face almost certain death? Any man who falls behind, is left behind. Can you recite the Pirate’s Oath? Were you born to sail the seas? Do you find yourself wanting to make those who irritate you “walk the plank”?

Well, Shiver me Timbers, YOU just might be a PIRATE!

• Do you constantly WISH that you could make people walk the plank and be forever lost to Davy Jones’ locker? Yes, you have this power, but do you act on it? If so, you are one step closer to becoming a pirate, me hearties!
• Are you DRINKING on the job? (OK, don’t answer that question here where your answers may be held against you). If you find yourself drinking anything other than water, tea, soft drinks, etc. while working, it is very possible that you are well on your way to a pirate’s life-and probably about to be out of a job. So, yes, that would work if you’re aiming for a pirate’s life! Although, RUM is an acceptable form of nourishment, according to Captain Jack Sparrow. So, please use your own judgment in this situation.
• Do you constantly daydream of blue-green waters, no land in sight, surrounded by water at all times? Just you and a boat, love?
• Do you have the budget of a beggar but KNOW you were born for treasures? Have you ever “hornswaggled” anyone? Then yes, you quite possibly are a pirate, my friend!
• Have you have ridden the “Pirates of the Caribbean” ride in Walt Disney World’s Magic Kingdom several times in a row, each time yelling “yo-ho, yo-ho”. Extra points if you ask someone “why is the rum always gone?”. (I refuse to divulge exactly how many times “several” are).

How did you fare, Mate?

If you answered YES to any of these questions, you possibly might need to find a boat, get a crew and start answering to Captain!  Don’t forget that hat, either! You could always just take a trip to Walt Disney World and hang out in Adventureland. I have spotted several barrels of rum AND the great Captain Jack, himself! What could be better? Grab the Jolly Roger and let’s go to Tortuga!

“We’re rascals, scoundrels, villains, and knaves,
Drink up, me hearties, yo ho.
We’re devils and black sheep, really bad eggs,
Drink up, me hearties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me.
We’re beggars and blighters, ne’er-do-well cads,
Drink up, me hearties, yo ho.
Aye, but we’re loved by our mommies and dads,
Drink up, me hearties, yo ho.”

If you scalawags need me, just keep a weather eye on that horizon, mate!

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